


bend towards the sun

by lastwingedthing



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 21:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5020501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastwingedthing/pseuds/lastwingedthing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One moment out of time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	bend towards the sun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosestone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosestone/gifts).



Narcissa walked quickly through Knockturn Alley, back straight, head held high. Her heavy cloak swirled around her feet, hood hanging down low to obscure her face.

Deep in the pockets of her robes, her fists were clenched tight.

A few paces past her father's favourite herbalist, a dim side passage opened up; unsigned and unnamed, but Narcissa knew where she was going. She followed it for several minutes, intently aware of the faint pressure of her wand up her sleeve and of the furtive movements of the people around her. Few of them were really threats to someone from her family, but it would still be immeasurably stupid to stop paying attention here, just in case.

The low archway on her left was almost invisible in this light, but Narcissa had been looking for it. Heart pounding, she followed it through its twists and turns to a tiny open courtyard between a grimy potions shop and a secondhand clothing store with a sign so faded as to be illegible.

No-one was visible, but even so, she lingered outside the window of the potions store for several long minutes, staring intently at a display case of exotic dried herbs, as if there was nothing more urgent on her mind than deciding whether she really needed the deep crimson, Laotion bleeding-heart root, rather than the cheaper British-grown substitute.

Laotian bleeding-heart root was, of course, illegal - at least, illegal without import permits, which were strictly controlled and highly unlikely to be offered to a back-alley potions shop. But fines for possession or sale were low, and no-one Narcissa knew would think twice if they heard she'd bought any.

Fines for unauthorised possession of the Potion she had come here to buy wouldn't ruin her financially either. But socially - it would be a disaster. After all, when it came to this potion, the very future of the wizarding world was at stake.

Narcissa took a deep breath, trying to push down her fears. She'd thought the risks through already. Made her decision.

Next to the window, there was another door, its 'Staff Only' sign hanging askew.

She stared at it, swallowed hard - and opened the door.

 

 

Inside, the little room was stiflingly warm, but Narcissa wasn't ready to push her hood back - not yet.

An old witch was dozing on the single chair, an overstuffed armchair that might have been violet six decades ago. Narcissa didn't recognise her, and the person who had told her how to find this shop didn't tell Narcissa her name. Whoever she was, she didn't stir when Narcissa closed the door behind herself, but as Narcissa moved closer she realised that the witch's eyes were open and watching her.

Suddenly the old witch lifted her head and laughed.

"Another Black? Your family would be very unhappy to hear you'd been here,  girl. To say nothing of your fiance."

Narcissa lifted her head higher. "If you tell my family or fiance I came here, the scandal would be big enough that no woman would ever trust you to come here again."

The witch smiled. "Smart girl. I need to know that you'll be careful. You - "

Suddenly she paused, head tilted towards the blazing fire in the corner of the room. The flames, Narcissa realised, were an unusual shade of orange, almost dark enough to be red, though she was sure the fire had seemed perfectly ordinary when she first walked in.

"Stupid!" the old witch snapped. "Who's coming? Didn't anyone tell her the signs?"

Now Narcissa could hear it too, a different note in the crackle of the fire, now growing steadily louder. Someone else was about to arrive by Floo. Narcissa had been told only to enter when the sign was turned to 'Staff Only', or the fire was an ordinary colour, so that there wouldn't be any other customers inside to recognise - or to recognise her. This person obviously hadn't.

In an instant the flames turned green and the rushing sound rose to a roar.

Lily Evans - Muggleborn, Head Girl - stumbled out of the fire.

 

 

Narcissa took a step back, let her hood fall further down her face. Evans? Slughorn's favourite, the prodigy, the Muggleborn who managed to hook herself a Potter - _here?_

The old witch frowned deeply, face twisting up.

"I think you're lost, girl," she growled to Evans. "Get out of here."

Evans lifted her head to look the old witch directly in the face. She was very pale, eyes standing out green and enormous in her blanched white face.

"I don't think so," she said, quietly but clearly. "Someone told me some things about this place. I think this is exactly where I need to be."

The witch snorted. "If you were told what this place is, you were told how to get here. You don't come through when the fire's that colour! I only serve one customer at a time."

Evans hesitated, looking around her, and then smiled.

"Alright, it's true. No one told me. I overheard some girls talking - they didn't see me. I'm very sorry that I didn't follow the rules, but I just didn't know."

"You should have listened longer then, shouldn't you?" The old witch sighed. "Are you pregnant?"

Evans shook her head. "No, not yet. But I'm getting married, and I just want to be able to wait a little longer - "

The witch sighed again. "Alright, then. I suppose you can both wait here together - even if you know each other, keep your mouths _shut_. You'll both suffer for it if you don't."

Evans looked around herself again, as if she'd only just remembered there was someone else in the room. Narcissa felt her frustration growing - couldn't Evans have listened properly? Neither of them wanted this visit to become public knowledge, but the consequences would be so much worse for Narcissa. Her family - her _fiance_ \- would see to that.

She supposed that she could try to keep herself hidden, but she didn't know how long it would take the old witch to prepare two doses of the potion, and the chance that Evans might recognise her anyway was too high.

She took a step forward and let her hood drop back.

"Hello, Evans."

Evans' eyes widened. "Black! You - "

Narcissa cut her off.

"If you tell anyone you saw me here, I'll make sure that _everyone_ knows you came here. And not for the ordinary reasons. How would you like all your friends to know you came here so you wouldn't have to try and pass off Severus Snape's baby as a Potter?"

Evans gasped, wand hand clenching visibly, and then shook her head and laughed.

"That would be utterly absurd. I'm not going to tell, don't be stupid. You don't need to make up any stupid stories. I have just as much to lose as you."

Narcissa snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm a _Black_ \- though I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that _you_ don't know what that means."

"I'm friends with your cousin - of course I know what your family's like! Now you're the one who isn't thinking." She laughed, bitterly. "Yes, I'm Muggleborn - and what do you think people would say, if they knew what I might be doing to James Potter's baby? How dare I risk the future of the Potter family by delaying the arrival of the Potter heir! A lot of people will say terrible things to your face these days. Or worse."

Narcissa shook her head and opened her mouth again to retort, but the old witch cut her off.

"Enough. How long do you want? I can give you six months or a year - any longer than that is more difficult, and you'll have to wait a week for me to prepare it."

"A year, for me." Evans' voice was quick and clear.

Narcissa frowned. "And for me," she admitted, grudgingly.

"Alright. I'll be back with two doses soon. Try not to kill each other while I'm gone, please - it's bad for business."

Grinning, she disapparated with a crack.

 

 

After the old witch was gone, Narcissa kept her mouth closed tight. She didn't want to talk to Evans, she just wanted to get this over with as painlessly as possible so she could get out and forget that any of this had ever happened. Talking didn't seem likely to be conducive to that aim.

Evans, apparently, hadn't thought things through so well - she lasted only a minute or two before she opened her mouth again.

"I heard you were engaged. Will you be getting married soon?" she asked, awkwardly attempting politeness, although she clearly couldn't bring herself to congratulate Narcissa.

Given that Narcissa was engaged to marry Lucius Malfoy, she supposed it wasn't too shocking. He had developed something of a... reputation, lately.

"Next month," Narcissa snapped. "Not that it's any of your business."

Evans smiled, tentatively. "James and I are getting married in October too," she said.

As if Narcissa cared. She kept her mouth shut, and the silence stretched out.

"Don't you ever think it's strange?" Evans burst out, suddenly. "One minute we're in school, talking about house points and exams, and the next we're out in the real world, getting married. It happens so fast... Maybe it's too fast."

"I don't think so," Narcissa said curtly.

The expression on Evans' face changed. She didn't seem hurt, just amused - as if Narcissa confirming her expectations of how a Pureblood Slytherin girl would behave to a Muggleborn was funny, as much as anything else.

Something twisted oddly in Narcissa's stomach when she saw that expression. She didn't know what she felt.

She had been more friendly to Evans when they were younger, she knew. They weren't friends - weren't ever friends - but Evans was willing to be friendly to everyone, called a misfit Slytherin boy her best friend, even tried to talk to arrogant Pureblood girls like Narcissa. When Narcissa was very young, it had just seemed easier to go along with her.

Evans just didn't understand Narcissa's position now - she was engaged to Lucius Malfoy, she _couldn't -_ but at that thought something in Narcissa rebelled.

"It is a little bit strange how quickly it changes," she said, awkwardly. "But isn't that better than being one of those witches who doesn't have anybody, alone for years after school, just waiting for someone who might never come?"

Evans' sudden smile was luminous. Narcissa had forgotten what Evans looked like when she smiled.

"That's just what my sister said! I can't say I think much of her husband, but I think he really loves her. She's older than me, she married last year - I suppose she could have waited longer, but I don't think she wanted to."

Narcissa frowned. She couldn't remember ever seeing Evans' sister at Hogwarts, or even hearing that she had one.

Evans looked at her and laughed. "I'm Muggleborn, remember? The only witch in the family. My sister's just an ordinary Muggle."

And that was strange to think about. Narcissa had never spoken to a Muggle, only ever seen them in the distance. Evans was so much the successful, powerful young witch, it seemed almost impossible to think about Evans in the middle of a Muggle family, surrounded by Muggles.

She kept her mouth shut on any comments, though. There was no reason to be offensive.  

If Evans could tell what Narcissa was thinking, she gave no sign.

"That's why I came here, I suppose," Evans continued. "I love James, I do, but - it's too much. I'm not ready for all of it, not yet."

Narcissa nodded, slowly. "Why shouldn't you wait? We have time. My aunt was sixty when she had Regulus - why do people our age need to hurry?"

Evans looked thoughtful "Do you - " she asked, and stopped.

"Do I what?"

Evans shook her head. "I was going to ask you about Lucius Malfoy," she said quietly. "But never mind."

Narcissa opened her mouth - to say what, she never knew - but was interrupted by the crack of the witch returning, a small blue vial in each hand.

"Two doses," she said curtly. "Eleven sickles each. If you want another dose, come back before the year's up, the end of August next year at the latest. It wears off quicker for some witches than others, so be careful."

They both nodded.

Narcissa counted out the coins slowly, aware of Evans beside her doing the same. For a horrible moment she thought that Evans might not have enough money, and she'd have to decide if she was willing to help her - but of course, Potter would have seen to that by now, if money had ever even been an issue for her at all. Snape never had any money, and she knew Evans came from the same rundown town, but she had no idea how Muggles lived. Maybe Evans' family were well-off, for Muggles.

"Hurry up," the old witch snapped. "It looked like someone might have visited my workshop before I arrived. They didn't find anything I didn't want them to, but I still want you two finished and out of here as soon as you can. It's not safe."

Narcissa knew that none of the ingredients of this potion were illegal, alone, although some were rare enough that it was suspicious to own large quantities in combination. Narcissa had been expecting the witch to have to leave this shop to collect the potion - Knockturn Alley was raided too often, too thoroughly, for storage here to be safe.

It was likely she kept the potion and its ingredients stored in several different workshops, scattered across the country . That was the way Narcissa's family usually dealt with similar problems. Even if one workshop was found, it likely wouldn't seem suspicious on its own - though it wasn't surprising that the old witch was worried one of them had been visited, either.

But despite all that, the only really dangerous time was still here, now, with two unmarried witches too young to apply for contraceptives legally, and two doses of an illegal contraceptive potion in their hands.

Narcissa took a deep breath, handed over the money - and drank her dose of the potion down.

 

 

At first it was like water, clear and tasteless, and Narcissa worried that it had been a trick, that the sickles she'd spent had been wasted. Then she felt a tingling sensation spreading through her, beginning in her fingertips and moving inward. It wasn't painful, just slightly unpleasant, and it faded quickly - just like she'd been told it would.

Almost immediately the witch took the vial back and Vanished the potion residue, removing any trace of what the vial had held.

She held the other vial out to Evans. "Here, quickly ."

Evans took it, face solemn.

There was a scuffling noise from outside the tightly shuttered window, quickly stifled, and the old witch's eyes widened.

"Get out, now! Get the floo! Quickly!"

Narcissa wavered over the box of floo powder, frantically trying to think of someone she could visit, flustered and unannounced, without suspicion. Would there be time for her to leave, and then for Evans to take the Floo somewhere else?

While she was still making up her mind, Evans grabbed the box out of her hand, still clutching the potion vial she'd just finished with the other.

"Come on, Black, there isn't time - you can apparate out from the other side."

Narcissa hesitated, not sure that she wanted to trust Evans any further than she had already, but then she heard a brisk knock coming from outside the staff door, and she knew she'd left it too late.

"15 High Street, Spinton," Evans said clearly, over the crackling of the Floo powder.

She grabbed Narcissa's hand and pulled her into the fire.

 

 

They stumbled out of a dead fire into a narrow wooden hallway lined with boxes piled as high as their heads. The hallway was dim, and smelt of old wood and dust.

"What is this place?" Narcissa whispered. Something about the cool, dim silence here made her want to keep her voice down.

Evans smiled again. "There's no-one here, don't worry about being quiet," she said, in a normal tone. "My sister used to work here. It's a Muggle dress shop."

A Muggle shop! Narcissa's stomach dropped at the thought of what Bella or Lucius might say if they heard she'd been here. But she was curious too, she couldn't help it.

She looked around, almost disappointed. The high old wooden room could be from any wizarding building, it wasn't a cave or a hovel, like in the Muggle stories Bella used to tell her when they were small. The only strange things were the thin white ropes that trailed from behind furniture to embed themselves in a patch of wall behind the door. 

She wanted to look more closely, but then there was a soft scuffling beside her. Narcissa turned away from contemplating the wall to see Evans with her wand pointed at herself, doing something to her clothes.

There was a muttered charm word, and then her robes suddenly started twisting and collapsing in on themselves. Most of the fabric disappeared, or wound itself between Evans' legs, and the colour seemed to be changing too.

Within moments Evans was dressed in tight blue trousers - trousers! - that clung to everything above her knees and flared out loosely below them. The light-coloured shirt she was wearing was looser, but it was cut to fit her figure too, as closely as a grown woman's formal dress robes.

The shirt wasn't too bad, really, but those _trousers_...

Narcissa had seen witches and wizards wearing Muggle clothes before, now and then, usually Muggleborns in Diagon Alley. They weren't supposed to wear anything but robes at Hogwarts, though Narcissa knew that in other Houses students sometimes broke that rule.

But none of them had ever looked quite like Evans did right now. Narcissa knew she was staring, but the way the fabric clung to the curves of her legs was utterly obscene.

She must have had a strange expression on her face, because Evans looked over at her and smiled almost apologetically.

"It's a Muggle street outside that door, I can't wear robes out there." Her smile turned mischievous. "Besides, this is much more comfortable than robes."

Narcissa stared at her in disbelief. " _That_ is more comfortable than _robes_?"

"Oh, yes! Robes are so insecure, you never know when a breeze might blow or you might trip over something, and then everything's out in the air for the world to see."

Narcissa blinked, quite sure that in nineteen years of life, she had managed to trip that badly maybe once - when she was six years old.

Evans was still smiling, though. "Do you want to try?"

 

 

Outside the Muggle street was loud, and much warmer than Narcissa was expecting. The horseless carriages - cars, Evans said, which Narcissa supposed was at least easy to remember - stank dreadfully, sending out gusts of hot foul air every time they passed, and there was rubbish in the gutters and piled in bags on the edges of the path.

It wasn't much worse than a Potions shop, though, and it was far more interesting.

The Muggles were wearing an astounding variety of clothes. Many of the women were wearing short, tight robes - dresses, Evans had called them, half-laughing as she transformed Narcissa's robes - but others were in trousers, some tight, others loose and flowing. The variety of colours was astonishing. Mysteriously, many of them were wearing long scarves or jumpers with bright, contrasting stripes of colour. If Narcissa hadn't known better, she would have thought they were Quidditch colours.

It was hard not to feel self-conscious about the clothes she herself was wearing, the short dress that exposed her shoulders and her thighs above her knees. But wearing these clothes was exciting, too. No-one she knew would possibly recognise Narcissa Black like this. Just for today, just for now, she was a blonde Muggle - invisible. Able to talk to Lily Evans. Able to stare and wonder at the Muggle world as much as she pleased.

She was turning her head to stare around herself like a child. All around her, the shops were full of strange, mysterious objects. One shop had boxes full of tiny people in the windows. Another was full of wireless sets, which Narcissa at least recognised, although she didn't understand how Muggles could use them without the spell. (It's too complicated to explain, Evans said, still on the verge of laughter. It was all too interesting to bother being offended at her tone.)

It shouldn't have been fascinating. But it was.

(And Evans, laughing - smiling at her - Evans was fascinating too.)

 

 

A few shops down, Evans took her down some stairs into a crowded pub. It smelt terrible, much worse than the wizarding pubs Narcissa had visited with Bella and her friends, with a sour tang underlying the thick smoky fog. She coughed as soon as she passed through the doorway, but Evans smiled and tugged her further in, and helplessly, Narcissa followed.

The whole morning had been like a dream, ever since Evans had pulled her out of the potions shop into the fire. Narcissa didn't know what she was doing anymore, but it was too fascinating to stop. Where Evans led, she would follow.

Even to the extent of trying strange Muggle drinks. Narcissa asked for a Butterbeer, but they didn't have that, apparently. Instead Evans brought out two large glasses of a fizzy, amber liquid with a thin frothy top, one glass darker in colour than the other.

Narcissa frowned.

"I wasn't sure what you drank, so yours is a shandy," Evans said, as if that made any sense. "But we can swap if you like!" She added the last a moment later, apparently misinterpreting Narcissa's expression.

"What is it?" she asked, finally.

Evans grinned. "Oh dear - you've not tried ordinary beer, then? I wasn't sure, but it seemed so strange that your people don't have it at all. You'll probably want to stick to the shandy."

Narcissa sipped, cautiously. It wasn't nearly as sweet as a Butterbeer, and there was a bitter aftertaste that she wasn't sure she liked. The fizzing was interesting, though, and after a considering moment she took another sip.

Evans' smile was warmer now, secret and soft.

"Would anyone believe it, if they knew you and I were sitting down in a Muggle pub together?"

Narcissa's stomach dropped. Suddenly she felt distant, and cold.

"Lucius might. I'd better hope he never finds out."

Evans drew in a sharp breath and looked away. The expression on her face was grim, as grim as Narcissa was suddenly feeling.

She didn't want to talk about this, didn't want to even think about it. There was no way this conversation would end well.

But Evans spoke anyway.

"Are you really going to marry him?" She burst out, finally. "He's - "

Narcissa laughed, harshly. "I know what he is. He's what my sister is. What my cousin is. Do you think I'm an idiot, Evans?"

Evans shook her head. "But why? Why marry him? You're not - if they're trying to make you, there's people who could help..." Her voice trailed off.

"No," Narcissa said, flatly. "They're not making me. I know what I'm doing, I chose it."

She looked away for a moment at the expression on Evans' face.

"I don't - I've never been in love with anyone. I don't think I'm made that way. There's no-one else, so why not him? He's rich, ambitious, he has a good name... At least it will make my family happy."

Evans shook her head again and looked away.

"At least I'll have some time," Narcissa said, finally. "With the potion... even after I'm married I'll have some time for myself, for a while."

"For a year," Evans said, face almost expressionless now. "And then you'll start having his Pureblood children, and - "

"What else can I do?" Narcissa didn't mean to interrupt her, but the words burst out of her anyway. "In my family - it's this, or join my sister. Bellatrix. Do you think that would be _better_?"

"Not really," Evans said, quietly, after a very long pause. "No, it wouldn't."

Narcissa shook her head. "You see? At least this way, I have an excuse to keep out of it."

"You really want to keep out of it?"

"Yes," Narcissa whispered, finally. "Yes, I do! It's so _stupid_ , and pointless, and cruel. Look at you, Evans! How can anyone say Muggleborns are inferior? And who _cares_ anyway? Why can't we all just get along as we have..."

Evans was staring at her now, so intent and focused Narcissa could barely meet her eyes. "So why do you go along with it, if you really think that? There's always another way, if you wanted."

"And be like Andromeda and Sirius? _No_. I can't do that. I can't do that to my family."

Evans laughed again, not amused this time. " _Your_ family? Why do you care? Do they care for you?" She shook her head. "I don't understand you. I don't understand you people at all."

"It's - they're my family! I _can't_ , Evans, don't you understand..."

"People like your family want to kill people like me," Evans said, slowly and distinctly. "No, I don't understand."

Narcissa shook her head. "I know. No, I shouldn't ask you to. But I still _can't_." She wiped her eyes. "Please, can we forget about this? Just for now? I don't know if this will ever happen again, if we'll ever sit down with each other like this again, so just for now, can we forget?"

"Alright," Evans - Lily - said, finally. "Just for today, we can forget."

 

 

Narcissa lost track of time for a while after that. Her drink disappeared, and then a second and third, while Lily told her stories - Muggle stories, stories about her family and her own life. Narcissa sat in a daze, just listening to her. The way she smiled, the way she looked at Narcissa when Narcissa said something that made her laugh... No wonder Potter and Snape both were in love with her. 

The world seemed to have softened around her, turned hazy, and warm. Time didn't seem to be moving the same way. She found herself talking to Lily, telling her things she'd barely dared think in the privacy of her own head before. Things about Bella, things about Andromeda - Narcissa was only supposed to have one sister now, but she knew she had two, she _did_. 

Sometimes Lily smiled at her. Sometimes Lily looked solemn, and stroked her hand.

After the third drink, Narcissa shook her head and told Lily she'd have to go soon. They walked back to the shop they'd arrived in together, so Narcissa could apparate away in privacy.

But Narcissa didn't want to leave. They kept talking, sitting down on the floor of that dusty corridor with their backs leaning against the wall. Narcissa didn't want to leave, and Lily didn't seem in any hurry to see her go.

 

 

"I want to try something," Lily said, much later. She wasn't smiling anymore, eyes downcast, and Narcissa felt her stomach clench at the thought she'd done something to offend her. "Narcissa - please don't hex me?"

Lily looked up at her then, eyes green and wide, and so distracting that Narcissa didn't realise, for a moment, that Lily was leaning in to kiss her.

"Oh," Narcissa said softly, after a long, long minute. Somehow she had moved very close to Lily, so close their legs were touching and her arm was almost brushing Lily's chest. She withdrew slightly, so she could look at Lily properly. "Oh, I didn't know..."

"Me either," Lily breathed. "But you keep looking at me. You've been looking at me all day. And suddenly I thought..." Her mouth was distractingly wet, and it was too easy to lean in and kiss her again.

Narcissa had never felt like this with Lucius. She'd never felt like this with anyone - every part of her hot and thrumming, so fully aware of Lily's body next to her own.

She couldn't stop kissing her. Couldn't stop her hands from reaching out and touching  Lily over those ridiculous, distracting trousers, feeling the sweet round curve of her arse and thighs.

Lily suddenly shivered in her arms and kissed her harder, and that was its own distraction, trying to come up with ways to make that happen again.

Finally Lily pulled back again, and looked at her.

"Narcissa," she said, softly, but the name lit Narcissa up like a touch. "Narcissa, I don't know how to ask this..." She smiled and looked down, suddenly shy. "No-one's home at my family's house. We could go there, if you wanted. If you wanted to go to bed with me..."

Narcissa kissed her again, deeply.

" _Yes_."

 

 

Afterwards they dozed together again for a long time, Lily's arm around Narcissa, Narcissa's head pillowed on Lily's shoulder. Waking, kissing, sleeping again. Narcissa felt loose and relaxed and easy, and at the same time hyperaware of every part of her body, every place where Lily had touched her. Even her fingertips and the insides of her knees, the thin skin over her hips.

She didn't want to leave this place, this bed. She didn't want to leave Lily.

But she had to, she realised finally, bleakly. If she was going to leave she would have to do it soon - now - before her willpower failed her altogether.

If she wasn't a Black. If she wasn't engaged to Lucius Malfoy already. If Sirius and Andromeda hadn't left already, and broken the family's heart. If Reg didn't need someone to look out for him...

If, if, if. But it was too late for that now. She'd made her choices.

It would be too easy to stay, and stay, through evening into the oncoming night. By that time she would have to come up with excuses before she went home - where had she been, why had she missed supper when she knew Bella was bringing guests - and it would be easier to avoid that, to stay here until morning in the warmth of Lily's arms.

And then - what?

How long could she stay before she was a traitor for good?

Narcissa didn't dare find out.

She disentangled herself slowly, carefully, just barely resisting the urge to lean in for just one more kiss.

When she was almost off the bed she stopped, just to look at her, just for a moment longer.

Lily opened her eyes and sat up. Her mouth was red and swollen, still. Something hot twisted in Narcissa's stomach, even now. She wanted, she _wanted_...

"You're going to leave without even saying goodbye to me?"

Narcissa made a small sound in the back of her throat and leaned in.

They kissed for a long time, slow and so sweet. Lily didn't touch her, but somehow Narcissa's hand ended up on her side again anyway, feeling the hot tender skin below her breast.

Finally she dragged herself away and stood panting in the corner of the room.

She was waiting for Lily to speak; but Lily said nothing, only watched her. Her eyes were enormous, luminous in her pale face.

At last Narcissa picked her robes up from the floor and put them on again, using small careful charms to tidy herself and neaten her clothes. In moments she was dressed again, Narcissa Black, engaged to an important wizard of good family with a bright future ahead of him.

She looked back at Lily only once, lying naked and disheveled on the sheets. Narcissa wasn't sure, but there was a shine to Lily's eyes that hadn't been there before. She thought Lily might be crying.

Narcissa didn't turn back, though.

She passed through the doorway, and she closed the door behind her.


End file.
